mommy rockers ako

One Emabrrassing Experience

Sometimes, when I feel upset, one way to ease my pains is through pigging out. In other words, dinadaan ko na lang sa kain yung sama ng loob ko. This method is, somehow, effective in cheering up myself during down moments especially when I have no one to talk out things with. On the other hand, this emotional pig out is also responsible for the three layered belly I have right now.

After giving my mom the anti-rabies vaccine that I bought, I went straight to an eatery along the highway. I ordered Bacsilog (bacon, sinangag, and itlog), 8 oz. sprite, and extra rice. Despite that I was aware that I would have Daing na Bangus for dinner at home, which is also one of my favorite dishes, I still decided to chow a heavy meal to somehow help myself cope up. That time, I felt disappointed because I failed again to meet that “special person” in my life when my father and I stayed in Manila on May 20 to 21.

After finishing that oily, and fatty “Bacsilog,” I checked my wallet. Shocked I was when I saw that my wallet only got 4 pesos in it. Then I checked my pockets; not a coin or a bill in any of them. I only found the receipt of the vaccine. “Nako po! Paano na to?!,” I asked myself. I was so worried and embarrassed but, thank goodness, I was able to keep presence of mind. I looked at the cashier who was talking over the phone. She looked back and gave me an “are you going to pay your bill” smile. I smiled back. After she put down the phone, slowly I got up from my chair, approached her and said, “Manang, pasensya na po. naiwan ko kasi yung pera ko sa nanay ko. Uuwi lang ako para kunin yung pera at babalik ako para bayaran yung kinain ko.” I asked how much my bill is. It was 50 pesos. However, I sensed that she was in doubt that I’d come back. So to gave her assurance, I left my bag to her.

Since my four pesos was not enough for a tricycle ride, I ran straight to home which was, I think, more than a kilometer from the eatery. Yet, I was having a tough time running. Thanks to my heavy tummy. On my way home, I saw something irritating- two young lovers in a bike doing pa-sweet stuffs. “Bakit sa harap ko pa!” I yelled madly as the lovers passed. People around looked at me like I was crazy. As I reached home, I immediately asked my mom, who’s resting on the sofa, my money. She gave it back to me. I washed my greasy and oily face and rushed back to the eatery. This time I took a tricycle.

As I came back to the eatery, I walked straight to the cashier. I handed her my payment to my bill. Then I apologized about my awkwardness and told her that it would not happen again. “Ok lang yun,” she replied with a smile.

Well the lesson for me here is that I should check my wallet first before I go pig out. Fortunately, I did not decide to do that “emo-eating” at Mc Donald’s, which is just in front of that eatery.

the journey back to the top: episode 2

EPISODE 2: GETTING MY LIFE ORGANIZED… STARTING WITH MY BED ROOM

I woke up past eight in the morning last this Sunday. For the first time in months, I woke up that time in a Sunday. Usually, I get out of bed around 6 or 7 am during Sundays because there’s something very important that I attend to and I have to travel for about an hour or two to reach the place.

Anyway, this Sunday was different. Different in a way that yung mga nakasanayan kong gawin every Sundays ay hindi ko nagawa ngayon. Instead, I had the chance to get out of my Sunday routine to do something good din kahit for now lang.

Before working things out, I watched a funny movie. Obviously, procrastination hits me again that time. Oh great! However, I was able to manage it…. After four hours. The movie stars Josh Hartnett in the lead role. The title of the movie was “40 days and 40 nights.” It’s about a guy who decided to make a vow not to engage in sex, masturbation, kissing, biting… in short, he’s doing abstinence for 40 days and 40 nights. Despite of that, most of his pals doubt that he’s gonna make that vow and instead of supporting him to accomplish that vow, dinedemonyo pa nila siya. I find the story funny and sophisticated. Aside from that, I could also relate sa situation nung bida- sometimes when you’re doing what is right, it is inevitable to be misunderstood by people. Another thing I’ve learnt from that movie is sometimes you have to do things by yourself and by being yourself. Actually, the movie inspired me. I was inspired by the protagonist’s courage, persistence to achieve his goal. After viewing it, I thought of trying to do that vow also… pero mukhang mahirap. Teka pag-isipan ko muna kung kakayanin. Mahirap kasi yung gagawa ka ng vow and then you’re just going to break it. But the idea is nice: self control. I really want to enhance my self control. Mahalaga kasi ang self control in every aspect of life lalo na sa paglilingkod sa Dios. That’s why God commanded, “Be selfcontrolled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (I Peter 5:8). And I believe, like what Bro. Eli taught us, ang Dios ay di magbibigay ng utos na hindi natin kayang masunod.

After the movie, I watched World Wrestling Entertainment’s Saturday Night’s Main Event naman. after naman ng wrestling, Resident Evil 2 naman.

Then I turned off the t.v. realizing na 2 o’clock in the afternoon nap ala…. And I haven’t accomplished anything. Damn! So, I decided to clean up de-clutter my messy bedroom. It would be a good start in organizing my life. Actually, I already did some cleaning that Saturday night at nilubos ko na lang ang paglilinis nung lingo to make my room totally mess-free. I fixed my closet and my clothes, wiped surfaces, put unnecessary papers in the garbage can, swept the floor and that shallow, dusty place – underneath my bed. Daming dumi! Tapos yung mga hinahanap kong mga gamit tulad ng pen, t-shirts, socks ay nasa ilalim lang pala ng kama ko. At may mga barya pa. hehe. Anyway, thanks to kuya Enteng for some help in cleaning up that messy, now tidy room.

It really feels good when you have accomplished something.
But aside from my bedroom, there’s another “kwarto” that needs to be fixed- my heart. It feels like I’m on a brink of a cliff. I’m in a situation where I should decide whether to hold on or let go. As I see myself, kaya ako nahihirapan to live up my best now it’s because I do not totally let go of the past. I hold myself back for doing that. Like what I had mentioned before, I always look back on the past- past friends, accomplishments, happenings that made me happy then at hinahanap-hanap ko hanggang ngayon. However, hindi naman masama ang mag-cherish or to make some flashbacks on past experiences once in a while but to contain yourself in the past is a different story. Not letting go of it could mess up one’s life- and that’s what happened to me. I’m messed up. Noong second year college, I asked help from a guidance counselor about this problem and somehow nakatulong naman…. but I actually haven’t let the past go entirely.

Some of the things that really disappoint me in the present are my pasts: my best friend and my first love. They’re included in the list of those persons that I cherish and care in my life. Dati ang saya, sigla ng samahan despite the distance but now things changed. Nagbago na ang lahat and I find it hard to cope up with the change. Sad to say, now it seems that the friendship between my best friend and me is cold. Dati, kahit malayo kami sa isa’t-isa we maintain communication; we still share each other’s ups and downs. Ngayon, wala man lang siyang reply sa mga “kumusta” ko. Kahit yung first love ko na patuloy ko pa ring kinababaliwan hanggang ngayon ganon din sa akin. Ewan ko kung hindi na sila intersado sa akin or what. Pero lagi ko na lang sinasabi sa sarili ko, “baka busy sila.” Pero nag-aalala kasi ako eh….. baka tuluyan nang maglaho ang ningas ng pagkakaibigan. It won’t take so much of their time naman siguro, though they’re busy, just to reply “ok lang” sa “kumusta” ko. I don’t demand long chat with them naman. Just to know that they’re still around, alive and kicking, that would be fine to me.

Siguro I have to accept na ganito na talaga. That everyone’s changed.

Last Friday, I told my mom that the girl doesn’t text me. Mom said, “kung ayaw nya sa iyo,wag mo nang ipilit ang sarili mo.” Aw. But she’s right. If she’s not interested on me, then I have to accept that. I can’t force her. Maybe, I should just give up this 5 year old feeling on that lady and move-on. Anyway, sinabi rin nung girl that I try to open my heart sa iba. Ako naman kasi itong nagpupumilit eh.

Nako! How many times did I say that I’ll let go of her before? Not one ten times I think. But I hope that this time it’s gonna ba for real and for good.

Got to move on!

episode 1

The journey back to the top: a life make-over
Episode 1: after one week..

Before I discuss about “the journey,” allow me to share something….

Last night, nag chat kami sa yahoo messenger ng isang former classmate ko way back elementary days sa Angelicum (ys-3 to be exact) na si Natasha Cruz. Noong ys3 she was that silent girl na hindi masyado umiimik sa klase but now, oh boy, she’s a hottie! Yah baby! Much to my surprise when I saw her sa webcam. Oh boy! She’s really gorgeous kahit wala siyang make-up. I like her more pag walang make-up. Honestly, I admire her looks. You know what, I told her that she looks like the lead vocalist of “Pussycat Dolls” yet Natasha also told me that not a few guys say that she reminds them of Kristin Kreuk, the hot actress who plays Lana Lang in my favorite tv series “Smallville.” Hahah. Well, I think they’re right about that. Nevertheless, whoever celebrity she looks like, one thing is certain: Natasha’s one hot lady; no wonder why she’s habulin. Even my friend Cholo before was head-over-heels in love with Natasha.

But for clarification, I’m not falling for her though I admire her. No you won’t fall Quincy! Oh behave! Heheh. Aside from her looks, things that I admire about her are the following: she’s fun to talk with, she seems witty and mature- the kind of person who I like the most to be with. masaya kausap ang ganoong tao. I hope na sana magtagal ang aming friendship. Friendship ha. Di ko tataluhin yun.

Now, let’s talk about “the journey.” A week had passed after I wrote the first article but it seems that there’s no obvious change in my life. Parang alang improvements. However, I figured out what really bothers me, the sickness that I am going through- it’s anxiety, which also comes with poor self-esteem.

It is usual for us humans to experience anxiety during our stressful times. Anxiety deals with the state of being anxious- troubled and uneasy in mind. Still, it is up to us how to handle it- either we fight back or freak out. In my case, based on my own analysis, I freak out when anxiety hits me, I rather run away from stressors than facing them. Another reason for my anxiety is my disorganized lifestyle, which I have mentioned before. Duh! In addition, my low self-esteem feeds this anxiety. actually, oftentimes I see myself as a failure. a**hole and worthless. I even say a lot of negative words to myself, things I really don’t say to other people. I’m rude sa sarili ko yata. Kailangan mabago na ito.

Working on this worse conditoion, I’ve researched tips to cope up with anxiety in the internet. I found some sa lifescript.com and sa about.com. I studied those articles and really learnt a lot of helpful things from them….. and I’m gonna put them into action. Though, it was revealed unto me that this battle to get up from being down-in-the-dumps ain’t gonna be a walk in the park especially in my situation where I have nobody assisting me. Sigh. It would take time and hard work to get through this, and I’m going to do work by myself. But if ever there’s anyone who would like to extend his or her hands to me, I’d gladly reach for it for I really need help badly.

Before I was that “superman” who saves, helps people in trouble, but now I’m the one in need of help. Pero sabi naman ng kanta, “even heroes have the right to bleed” eh.

The first step that I’m gonna take, which is I think is the best first move to make, is to recharge and boost my self-esteem. These are the things to do to make that work: first I’m going to be optimistic. Tapos I’m gonna use my positive traits to its fullest to get my goals and to beat down the blues; Then, I’ll get myself into new things, new experiences where my skills could be enhanced as well as my personality.

Aside from those self-esteem boosting plans, to cope up with anxiety, I am alsom considering having a partner. Alam mo na, yung someone who’s gonna accompany me in this journey, cheer me up when I’m down, keep me going. Yung taong mapagdadaingan at mababahaginan ko ng aking feelings and thoughts. Someone will care for me and, syempre, ako rin sa kanya. Someone who I can call my…. girlfriend. But, but, but,…. I have high standards pagdating sa pagpili; kung baga sa school, Ateneo. Whoa! Pero kasi, for me, there are lots of things that should be considered upon entering that kind of relationship. Lalo na ako, I’m serious when it comes to that matter; ayoko ng lokohan. Pero, it’s so hard kasi to be a loner. Di lang kasi alam ng marami. Especially during hard times tapos there’s no shoulder you can lean on nor words to cheer you up, nako kahirap! But, still, I’m going to think about this matter carefully muna….. kailangang mapag-isipang mabuti.

Well, I’ll just have to put these plans into action and then see if there’s going to be a change or improvement sa situation ko. Sana nga magkaroon.

The adventure begins for Super Quincy

“Dark ages” is the term I use to describe the past four years of my life, until now, which are my college years. During these times, many negative things occupy my existence: frustrations, failures, anxiety, depression and I am still going through these at this moment.

My assessment is that I am suffering from the consequences of my past decisions, which are probably out of my carelessness, miscalculations, poor judgment and happy-go-lucky style. Now, at 20 years of age, I picture my life as messy, troubled, distracted and critical; a scene that I never imagined then. If I will not do anything about this worse case scenario, eventually, I’ll turn out as destroyed, wasted.

This was not the Quincy I knew then. During elementary and high school days, I was responsible, brilliant, creative, full of energy, and happy dude. And I’ve proven my pretty good prowess before in competitions, and being one of the competent students in the class before and because of that, people liked me, trusted and respected me. But at present, I see myself as no good. Now, I am a big time procrastinator, lazy and slack. I am ruined, tattered and torn.

What made me like this? These negative traits began to build up when I and my family moved here in Santiago City from Quezon City. I became apart from my buddies to whom I share my life’s ups and downs. Here, I became a loner, my energy gradually faded. Though, there are times that my liveliness perks up but most of the times I feel down. I always wanted someone to talk to whenever I feel that way but I often fail to find that someone. As a result, I just keep my troubles to myself and when the burdens became unbearable, I just find myself crying in a corner.

There was a point in my life when I experienced, I think, a major depression which was a product of those sad things happened to me. During that stage, I felt worthless, helpless, hopeless, desperate and, worst, I’d even had the thoughts of committing suicide but, thank God, I was able to cope with it by myself. Most of the times, as much as possible I never show people the sad part of me. Instead, I play jokes and entertain people, which somehow, lessen the pain inside of me. Whenever I realize that I made people smile, even for just for a while, that makes me happy.

Things got worse when I entered college. I decided to study in a not-that-high-standard school, which I never dreamt to study at before. People in the campus often misunderstood me for being arrogant, weird, and even crazy. In addition, The school never satisfied my thirst for knowledge. Heck! And due to that I became sluggish to attend classes. However, my passion for learning did not die away. Instead of attending dry-as-dust classes, what I did (and am still doing) is to learn things by myself: I read books related to my course and grab learning opportunities outside school and I’m loving it. Boy! I hate the traditional spoon feeding system of learning which most of the teachers in my school is practicing. Nonetheless, my grades are not that impressive but I know deep inside me, I still got that “Mr. Nerd.” Teachers say that I’m brilliant but the problem is that I am lazy. And they are quite correct about that, I admit.

As I assess things, the gloom that I’m bearing for the past four years is caused by not totally letting go of the past. I guess, I’m stuck in the past because I don’t like the sad things that happen to me in the present. I try hard to move on but it seems that I could not get over of the past.

Out of deep thinking and reflecting, I found the best solution about this problem: acceptance. I have to accept that the past is past and I can’t change it. I have to stop regretting about my past faults and mend, renovate, makeover my personality, my career, my life. I have to accept the present no matter how frustrating it is. Life must go on for me.

As part of re-building my being, from now on, I am going to record my fight-for-life quest and journey back to the top. Through this, I may somehow inspire those individuals who also undergo this kind of trouble that I have.

I know this is going to be a tough, rough road but I won’t stop ‘till I get back on the top.

CHOCO-GREAT!

Chocolates can make you fat. it also causes and induces tooth decay that's why it can harm your health. well, think again! health researchers have found out that chocolates, especially the dark ones , really give a mouthful of health benefits aside from its indulging sweetness.

Generally, chocolate contains the following nutrients which are vital to our body:

protein - needed for cell growth

fat - a rich source of energy

vitamin E - essential for normal cell structure and maintenance. it also boosts the immune system

calcium, phosphorus and magnesium - minerals that make the bones and teeth strong

iron - mineral needed by the body to produce hemoglobin which carries oxygen in the blood

caffeine and theobomine - substances that stimulate the nervous system

copper - it helps the nervous system work properly

Cocoa, one of chocolate's main ingredients, contains immune system-boosting antioxidants like polyphenol and flavonoids. according to holland's national institute of public health, polyphenol prevents heart attack by protecting the fat-like substances in the bloodstream from oxidation. on the other hand, flavonoids fight cell-damaging free radicals.

and you better believe this: chocolate helps prevent tooth decay. yes. contrary to the belief that it causes tooth decay, researchers said that the cocoa butter in chocolate coats the teeth thus preventing the cavity causing bacteria like streptotocus from sticking themselves on the tooth's surface.

so rejoice chocoholics for now there are healthy-sweet reasons to grab a bite of that yummy, irresistable chocolate bar.

source: health today

HONORING THE ERASERHEADS

Last December, Sony BMG Records and Jam 88.3 launched a tribute album to one of the most decorated bands in Original Pilipino Music history: the Eraserheads.

Years after the band call it quits, here comes “Ultraelectromagneticjam: songs of the Eraserheads,” a 17-track album that features an all-star line-up of Filipino artists doing their own rendition of the Eraserheads’ hits.

The album contains the following tracks:

“Alapaap” performed by 6 cyclemind
6 cyclemind’s version sounds heavier that the original but this talented band has managed to retain the magic of this controversial E-heads hit during the mid 90’s.

“Magasin” performed by Paolo Santos
Acoustic performer Paolo Santos sparkled some of his own acoustic touch to the song that made his version quite lighter than the original. It sounds just fine.

“Spoliarium” performed by Imago
Imago has treated this song just right by playing it plainly. Plus, the vocal ad lib by Aia De Leon, the band’s lead vocalist is just as pretty as her. The result: their version rocks that good and it’s one of the stand-out tracks in the album.

“Overdrive” performed by Barbie Almalbis
Barbie’s version sounds sweet and pa-cute. In this song, she sounded like a teenage girl who wants to try new things in life and one of those is driving. Despite of that, her performance is pretty well.

“With a Smile” performed by South Boarder
It’s a jazz version of that romantic Eraserheads hit. South Boarder’s vovalists added more “pa lovers” effect to the song with their chilling voices. You’ll surely enjoy this track with a smile.

“Tikman” performed by Sugarfree
It’s one of the best tracks in the album. Sugarfree played it the Eraserheads’ style and the best thing about it is that Sugarfree’s lead vocalist Ebe Dancel sounded like Ely Buendia.

“Ligaya” performed by Kitchie Nadal
In her feminine version, Kitchie rocked impressively and managed to retain the song’s appeal though it was re-arranged. Notice that she obviously laughed a bit while singing the line, “Ilang ahit pa ba ang aahitin, o giliw ko.” It’s funny indeed. Besides, what part of her body does she have to shave? Her underarms, maybe. But despite of that, the song still rocks.

“Torpedo” performed by Isha
Isha is, probably, the least popular artist in this album yet her remake of this shy guy’s anthem was fair though it sounds way too soft for rockers.

“Superproxy 2K6” performed by Francis M. and Harware Syndrome featuring Ely Buendia
Master Rapper Francis Magalona is the only artist in this album who was a contemporary of the E-heads. Francis’ “Superproxy 2K6” projects a heavier beat and more attitude compared to the original “Superproxy.” The best part about it is Ely Buendia participated in the rap part of the song! It’s a stand-out track of the collection.

“Huwag Kang Matakot” performed by Orange and Lemons
Arguably, there’s no other band that would be that perfectly fitting to remake this fantastic song than Orange and Lemons. The band applied their creativity and style which made their rendition fabulous especially in the ad lib part where they mixed some “Julie Tearjerky” tune on it. Two thumbs up for this track!

“Pare Ko” performed by Sponge Cola
“Pare Ko,” despite of negative criticisms about it, was a phenomenal hit during the early 90’s and Sponge Cola treated the song just fine. They played it well, the vocals was ok and it sounds angrier than the original.

“Huwag Mo Nang Itanong” performed by MYMP
MYMP’s version has the acoustic pop sound. Though, Juris’ Voice was ok, unfortunately, their rendition has a lesser appeal than the original. Not that good but not too bad.

“Alcohol” performed by Radio Active Sago Project
It’s the funniest track in the album. Like the band use to do with their songs, the lyrics were spoken but it sounded nice and it was witty and creative- it’s Radio Active Sago style!

“Maling Akala” performed by Brownman Revival
Brownman Revival revived “Maling Akala” even before “Ultraelectromagneticjam” came into scene. Last year, their reggae version of the song was a hit and it gave opm fans a refreshing remake of the 1993 E-head’s hit.

“Hard to Believe” performed by Cueshe
One of the top artists of 2005, Cueshe has treated the song fine by giving it a faster and heavier beat. They have managed to retain the song’s sentimental appeal. It’s ok.

“Ang Huling El Bimbo” performed by Rico J. Puno
Huh? Rico J. Puno doing “Ang Huling El Bimbo?” Yes. Opm’s icon balladeer was surprisingly fitted for the song’s remake. With his “macho guwapito” voice, he brought justice and more romantic approach to the song which made it one of the album’s stand-out tracks.

“Para sa Masa” performed by Various Artists
All of the participating artists in the album pay their respects to the legendary band. The song was touching, especially for the fans.

Perhaps, you may wonder why they did not remake “Toyang” and “Tindahan ni Aling Nena.”

The best thing about this collection is that when you hear it, it brings lots of memories especially to those people who were in their adolescence and early adult stages in life during the Eraserheads’ rule over the airwaves. This album is also a must have for those who experienced “bandamania” during the decade of the 90’s.

This has been a job well done for Sony BMG and Jam 88.3 and two thumbs to those artists that participated in this marvelous album.

According to Eric Perpetua, Jam 88.3’s Associate Program Director, “No other band can create musical magic the way Ely, Marcus, Raymund, and Buddy do when they come together. No other band is as witty, cheeky, spunky and as Filipino when it comes to lyrics. No one comes close-then and now!”- there’s no doubt about it.

The Eraserheads, though disbanded, will remain as one of the most influential and most popular bands in opm history. With this album, it implies one thing- the Eraserheads are now rock legends.

SOURCE: the Philippine Daily Inquirer